Emotional Resilience - The First Days of School
The First Day of School is FULL OF EMOTIONS!
And not just from our students! Teachers, Parents, Bus Drivers, Admins, even pets feel the change in our schedules.
Flip flops are exchanged for sneakers. Swimsuits and goggle are exchanged for books and pens. There are new routines, new friends, new rules.
Here at Common Ground we experience the beginning of school from all sides. A lot of our school-aged kids have been with us since they were babies! When they get off the bus, all we want to see is a HUGE, confident smile on their faces after a long, successful day.
Brace yourselves, friends, because the reality is, they are just as likely to come off the bus crying. If it’s not the first day, it may be the fifth, or the ninth day when the novelty wears off and the anxiety and fatigue kicks in.
It is totally normal for a kid to be bewildered, overwhelmed, or even angry about what seem to you to be the littlest things.
Even so, this can be a lot to process. In the moment, you may not know what to do or say! Having experienced this ourselves with LOTS of kids as teachers and parents, we have some perspective and tips to share with you.
FOCUS ON THE WHOLE.
When you ask your child how their day went, we know you really, really just want for it to have all gone well. It hurts your heart when the first thing (or the only thing) they bring up are all the bad and sad things that happened to them! You might be inclined to say “let’s focus on the good things! forget the bad, tell me the good!” in an effort to help reshape their perspective. Ignoring the bad does not change their perspective. It just makes them feel like those feelings are shameful, or that they’re wrong for feeling that way. They may even try to hide their worries and negative feelings from you. Worries and negative feelings are as natural as victories and good feelings, and should be honored with the same weight.
Allowing each child to speak. One of the tricks we noticed works really well with kids, especially if there are multiple kids around the dinner table who want to share bits from their day, is to take turns sharing one thing at a time. We go around the table and share one good thing each, then one bad thing, then one weird thing. We keep going around until everyone is shared out.
The round robin mentioned above may not work if a kiddo has a big worry or problem to share. They also may not want to share it with an audience! Taking them one-on-one for a moment to let them talk it all out may be required before they can even focus on finding a good thing to share. Whether you are comforting them, helping them find a solution, or just simply honoring their feelings, you are letting them be heard. That is sometimes all they need.
Finding good things to say about the day is still important. Sometimes we are inclined to give more attention to issues and worries because we are trying to honor them! This is good, but we want to be engaged with their positive stories too. When they are sharing, be sure to give them your full attention. Ask questions, give them specific feedback, show you are interested! We have found that having a specific “cell-phone parking” place for these conversations is incredibly helpful for everyone involved. We get so much more out of something that has our complete attention.
Remember: What you focus on, you get more of. Giving each share equal value and weight will encourage them to share everything, not just the things that get them the most praise or comfort. It will help them honor their day with a more objective perspective.
Whatever they share, the good, the bad, and the weird, show your gratitude. Thank them for sharing their whole day with you, and for discussing solutions for any sticky bits! This will remind them that, no matter what, you are a safe space. Don’t forget to share YOUR day with them too! Your victories, your frustrations (obviously ones they can handle and help with), and moments when you felt you weren’t your best. This reminds them that you are human, that you are not perfect, and certainly do not expect your loved ones to be.
THERE IS NO “PERFECT.”
There are no perfect days. There are no perfect people. Perfect is an enemy of the Good, and expecting perfection only leads to disappointment. THIS IS NOT A NEGATIVE STATEMENT! This is freeing, and empathetic, and forgiving. It allows for a day to be GOOD even if a bunch of things didn’t go right. It allows for a friend to be a good friend even if they don’t alway get along. It allows for a child to know they are amazing, no caveats required. We are all intimately familiar with fear of failure. We all know those days where it feels like one misstep spoils the rest of the dance. It is incredibly hard to remember, when we are upset, to give others the benefit of the doubt, and to not take others’ actions personally.
Scenario 1: Your child is upset because they feel like their teacher did not call on them as much as other people. Honor that feeling! Let them know that it may very well be true. But also remind them that Teachers are not perfect. Remind them that it’s their teacher’s first week of school with nineteen new children they need to get to know, so maybe they just made a mistake! This lets the child know that it’s not a “vs. them” situation, that they can give their trusted adults the benefit of the doubt.
Scenario 2: Your child is upset because they had friction with their friend. This is disappointing! This is uncomfortable! No one likes this, and let them know that. Remind them that friction is normal, and is important for growth and learning to talk to each other with honesty. Remind them that our friends have bad days too, and they are learning to express themselves too. EVERYTHING TAKES PRACTICE, including friendship!
Scenario 3: Your child is mad at you because, while you were running late for the bus this morning, you snapped at them to put on their shoes. Apologize. Let them know that parents are not perfect. This is a good reminder for you too. you are not perfect! Forgive yourself, practice, and grow. Let your child know that you were frustrated, that you should not have acted that way, and encourage them to discuss solutions with you for how to avoid rushing in the morning. This is where you could encourage them to, perhaps, have their shoes on by a certain time. This empowers them with responsibility, and creates a “team” out of a blame/vs. situation.
WHAT WE CAN CONTROL/WHAT WE CAN’T CONTROL: We cannot make others feel or act the way we want them to. But that means they cannot make us feel or act any particular way either. Kids want control over their world as much as we do, and they want us to help them find peace within themselves. We cannot MAKE them feel happy or grateful or confident. We can help them find the tools to do that on their own.
Check out our posts on DEEP BREATHS to help you and your kiddos regulate your own emotions.
We cannot control how others feel and react. Work hard to hope for the best for everyone in your life. WISH WELL.
TOOLS OF THE TRADE: We don’t have all the answers! Check out some of these resources that we recommend to help with emotional resilience, gratitude, conflict resolution, and communication. This list will be updated often, so come and check it out!:
Chrysanthemum: A First Day of School Book by Kevin Hankes: Chrysanthemum thinks her name is absolutely perfect—until her first day of school. "You're named after a flower!" teases Victoria. "Let's smell her," says Jo. Chrysanthemum wilts. What will it take to make her blossom again?
Ninja Life Hacks: Books for Emotions and Feelings: Life is tough. But so are you! The new children’s book series, Ninja Life Hacks, was developed to help children learn valuable life skills. Fun, pint-size characters in comedic books easy enough for young readers, yet witty enough for adults.
Ninja Life Hacks: Books for a Growth Mindset: The new social emotional learning children's book series, Ninja Life Hacks, was developed to help children learn valuable life skills. Fun, pint-size characters in comedic books easy enough for young readers, yet witty enough for adults.
Doggyland - Kids Songs and Nursery Rhymes: Snoop Dog is ready to use his vast talents to teach our kids social-emotional skills!
Essential Bluey Episodes: Bluey is an amazing children’s show on Disney+ with some incredibly key episodes for overcoming emotional obstacles:
Bin Night: Bingo is being teased by a new child in her class, and has conversations about it with her parents over the course of a month.
Bike: When Bluey becomes frustrated with riding her bike, her dad, Bandit, has Bluey watch her little sister Bingo and friends trying difficult things.
Dance Mode and Yoga Ball: Dance Mode and Yoga Ball are all about finding your voice and standing up for your feelings, especially with people you love!
Pass the Parcel: This is an episode about learning that disappointment is a natural feeling when losing, but that it does not have to define your fun!
Most importantly, keep an open channel of communication with you and your teachers! Conscious Discipline’s idea of “The School Family” insists up on the fact that you, your child, and your child’s teacher all want the same thing: For Students to grow up safe, healthy, happy, and confident. Giving each other honesty, communication, and the benefit of the doubt is key to strengthening those bonds and giving your child a firm foundation.
What kind of obstacles did your child have on the first day of school? How did you handle them? What kind of tools do you wish you or your child have? Let us know in the comments!
Spotlight On: Conscious Discipline - A Transformative Experience
We, as an entire center, have been taking Dr. Becky’s Conscious Discipline courses.
This is so much more than a “how-to” class. Conscious Discipline takes a transformative view on our interactions with EVERYONE, not just our students, which makes it an incredibly unique and humbling experience.
What is Conscious Discipline?
Instagram I Blog I Free Webinars I Podcast I Discipline Tips I Extra Info Links I Methodology
Conscious Discipline is designed to completely transform the way we look at “discipline.” For generations we have looked at punishment and discipline as synonyms. We have created a divide of judgment between good and bad, pass and fail, win and lose, that encourages learning and behavior through fear.
All. Behavior. Is. Communication. If we only address the behavior, we are not addressing the needs causing the behavior that aren’t being met. The goal is not “to drive you crazy,” which they can’t do anyway, if you have control! They just do not know how to ask for what they need yet.
Conscious Discipline is a series of classes designed to give you empowering tools that help you communicate, guide, and encourage with LOVE, a force much more powerful and long lasting than fear. Check out the methodology link above for the four key tenants!
In order to help children build a foundation of discipline and emotional regulation within, we need to teach ourselves to be aware of what we are saying with our words. We need to catch ourselves in moments of heightened emotion, and break defensive habits that have been passed down from parent to child.
WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO JOIN US! How?
Here is a tried-and-true tool that we learned at the very beginning of our training. It’s called STAR BREATHING, you star!
Three deep breaths shut off the “fight or flight” system of the brain.
This active calming technique is an essential component of emotional health. Teach children to S.T.A.R.: Smile, Take a deep breath And Relax.
S.T.A.R. is one of four core breathing techniques in Conscious Discipline. The other techniques are Drain, Balloon and Pretzel. <—Click here to download a poster showing these different techniques to remind you and your kiddos how to calm yourself before you respond.
Giving yourself a chance to calm down gets you out of the “survival state.” Once you’re calm, if you’re still frustrated, repeat to yourself ”I am safe, Keep Breathing, I can handle this.” to keep the bad feelings at bay. Problem solving can commence once you are calm and ready!
We have made our Conscious Discipline Action Team and will be rolling out changes! Stay tuned, we will be sharing more things that we are implementing in our center to help transform early childhood education as we know it.
Love Love Love,
Your CG Family
Goodbye Mr. Josh!
After five years of laughter, hugs, skinned knees, and turning nursery rhymes into classic rock instant hits…
We are saying goodbye to our beloved Mr. Josh! He is focusing in on school and looking towards his future to decide what he’s going to do next, and we could not be more proud of him, more sad to see him go (but excited for the next part of his journey!), more thankful for everything he has done for us and the students who were lucky enough to grow under his care.
While he will no longer be working with us, he still loves his community here and would be happy to hear from any of you! Make sure to say “see you soon!” to him this afternoon!
We will also be posting pictures on our Facebook, and encourage you to share your favorite Mr. Josh pictures, stories, songs, memories!! It shows Mr. Josh what you meant to him and reminds us all that all of our most normal days are sometimes the most lovely.
A note from Mr. Josh:
“My five years at Common Ground have been some of the most transformative and fulfilling I have ever known.
I started teaching as a goofy 19 year old kid, and now? I'm a goofy 24 year old man, and I wouldn't have it any other way. From sharing my music and any creepy-crawly creature I could get my hands on to helping my students navigate the complex emotional landscape of early childhood; I've considered it privilege to grow alongside these wonderful little people.
To the children I've had the opportunity to work with: I love you all. I'm constantly amazed by how far you've come, and I'm so proud that I had the chance to call myself your teacher. This time has more to me than I could possibly express and I look forward to visiting Common Ground in the weeks, months and years to come.”
Thank you for everything, Josh, Common Ground loves you!
Teacher Tips: Healthy Eating
If you are like most parents or educators out there, you have stressed a non-zero amount of times on feeding the children in your care.
Here at Common Ground we have gotten every question in the book, so we are going to try to give you some peace of mind:
How do I get my picky child to eat things? How do I get them to not hold out for sweets?
This is a tricky question, and one I have actually faced a lot at home. There is no one simple answer that works for everyone, but there are lots of ways you can get a child to eat outside of their comfort zone.
PLEASE NOTE! We are using “picky” as an umbrella term because it is the question we get asked so often. There are lots of reasons a child may be hesitant about food. Maybe it is a sensory discomfort! Maybe they had allergies in the past or have allergies now, and are just hesitant about trying NEW foods. Maybe there are plenty of foods they will eat, but they are not interested in a particular genre of food (vegetables, meats, etc.). MAYBE they are on a sweets kick and are on a hunger strike until they get what they want! Whatever the reason, there are things on their plate that you wish they would eat that they aren’t…
Be a Role Model: The best way to encourage a behavior is to EXHIBIT that behavior. Making sure everyone’s plate has pretty much the same thing is very effective. If you are drinking water instead of soda, if you are eating almonds for a snack and fresh fruit for dessert, you are helping to show that you really believe in what you are asking them to do, and are not just “making them eat” the healthy stuff.
Let them be involved in the process:
Planting fresh fruits and veggies in a local garden is an amazing option. We have seen kids try foods grown right here at Common Ground that they would never try at home. Don’t have time or space to have a garden? There are plenty of farms locally that offer “picking” days! You would be supporting local farms and providing your child an amazing, technology/screen-free activity that might encourage them to try a new food.
Cooking together in the kitchen and having them be “in charge” of a particular meal or dish gives them control and autonomy. Let them serve your plate too! Kids want control in their lives. Giving them a little bit helps them develop independence and confidence. Cooking has also been known to be an excellent activity for math and number sense!
Offer Limited Choices: Give the child choices for what they want, but eliminate the choices that you would rather they not pick! “Do you want broccoli or cauliflower?” over “Do you want broccoli for dinner?” This is especially important if you want to cut back on the sweets intake! Offer healthier options for snacks and desserts.
Is my kid eating enough?
Here is a guide to how much kids should be eating generally: Infant Guide, Child Guide, General Nutritional Guide
I was personally shocked at how little kids actually need to keep growing healthy and happy. Children have an incredible ability to self-regulate. They know their bodies, when they are hungry, what they need. Sometimes, in an effort to make sure they are getting enough food, we are actually over-feeding/force-feeding our children, which can cause this ability to self-regulate to disappear. As long as our children are hitting their markers and their doctor is happy with their progress, they are okay! Make sure to keep in regular contact and stay up to date on your doctor visits.
Is my kid eating too much?
Does your kid seem to want a lot of snacks in between meals? Do they seem to always want way more helpings than you expect? Fear not! Most of the time, kids are eating what they need to eat. During a growth spurt they tend to eat a ton! Kids who are especially active may also want extra snacks between meals. Here are some healthy tips to snacking:
Do not offer overly sugary food items for snacks. Kids will eat these even when they are not hungry! Same thing with sugary drinks. Water or milk are the liquids kids should be drinking during most meals. (Tip: Sometimes thirst masks itself as hunger! Make sure that water is always available)
The best “between meals” snacks are little healthy portions of foods that have a low glycemic index: fruits, nuts, cheese, veggies with hummus, nut butters on whole grain breads, etc. these have the good proteins and fats that kids need, and they will probably be less snacky overall. Chips, goldfish crackers, these kinds of snacks may not be sweet but they ACT like sweets. They have fewer healthy bonuses and their high glycemic index leads to the kids needing to eat MORE of them just to feel full.
When to check with your doctor:
Your child is literally eating until they throw up
Your child eats constantly and doesn’t seem to be gaining weight, has abnormal bowel movements, and/or seems fatigued
How do I know if they are getting enough protein/vitamins/fat/fiber?
Our first bit of advice is going to be: KEEP UP A GOOD DIALOGUE WITH YOUR PEDIATRICIAN. If they have any concerns they will help guide you through a nutritional plan. You can also reference our nutritional guides we linked above so that you have a general idea of what a kid’s day should look like.
The most important thing to note is to not make eating an anxiety-inducing affair for anyone involved. Everyone gets caught in negative feedback loops, and since you can’t just skip eating for a few days and start fresh, it can make every meal exhausting. The trick is to offer a plate of the foods you want them to eat, and then leave them to it. It can take kids 15-18 times of trying a new food before it becomes a “normal food” for them.
FED IS BEST. Offer the complete plate every time so that they have the right options, but keep in mind that you really just want them eating enough to keep them moving and happy. It will all balance out.
Keep your eye out for more Teacher Tips on Healthy Eating and Exercise for Spring!!
Love Love Love,
LJ and your Common Ground Family
WOYC21: ARTSY THURSDAY- We made Crayons!! Here's How...
It was a gorgeous, perfect day today… Most of our time was spent enjoying the outside and celebrating the good weather!
But your Common Ground Office Friends had a silly, fun, totally “Artsy Thursday” inspiration that we absolutely had to act on.
We decided to turn our GIANT TUB of broken, old crayons into new, tie-dye crayons in totally whacky shapes!
Ms. Mimi had seen the idea during one of her Teaching courses last week, and we LOVED it! Ms. Liz ran out to Michael’s to get some fun molds and we went to work! See below for pictures of our process and results!
Peel the crayons. If you want to make this process go a little faster, soak them in water! the wrapper comes right off.
Chop them up! They don’t need to be uniform. We used scissors (poor scissors!) and made a bunch of tiny chunks. Leave some of the chunks bigger, we’ll explain why later!
We used silicone molds with all sorts of different shapes! They can go in the microwave, the oven, and the freezer, so they’re perfect.
Place a layer of crayons in the molds. fill it up! When they crayons melt, they’ll shrink. Since these will completely melt and mix together, we advice complimentary colors.
Place in the microwave. 1-2 minute intervals should do it.
Once the wax is completely melted, place one of the larger chunks in the center of each mold shape. It will create a marbled look with the other colors you added. This color can be as different from the other colors as you like! You can also add another layer instead.
Put it into the microwave for a little bit longer, and then when you’re satisfied put it into the freezer until it’s firm and cool.
We got a uniform back onto the crayons by melting one or two colors into cups and then pouring a layer of wax into the molds once they had firmed up a bit in the freezer.
The result is, dare we say it, ADORABLE and totally functional! We gave them out to all of our students, and we have so many leftover crayons we plan on letting them make their own combinations in the future! It was such a bright, happy way to recycle our old crayons that no one seemed to want. Some of our kids did not even want to color with them! We had a couple of our Honeybee Students play with their robots like toys.
"I met a Pediatrician in the woods..."
Hello all! Ms. LJ here. We have been talking so much about kindergarten readiness here, both as discussions in our blog and in our kindergarten planning meetings. For many of us it is a passion project, a calling to find a way to reintegrate the joy of childhood with the delight of curiosity, of hunting for answers in this beautiful world of ours.
Learning IS a joy that fuels the fires of our existence. Our children are subjected to the fears of failure early, of “falling behind” or being measured against their peers with a single yard stick and being found wanting. These anxieties become inextricably linked to education as they get older, convincing them that it is something they have to endure, rather than tools given and honed to become our best selves.
Why? It is our very ambitious belief that it is because we have cut off curriculum from play. Particularly in the American education system for young children we have turned away from the most natural, efficient source of teaching.
BACK TO MY ORIGINAL POINT: I MET A PEDIATRICIAN IN THE WOODS…
On Friday morning last week I found myself home with my two children. I had just received my second covid inoculation and was feeling a bit run down myself, but I did not want to squander this rare opportunity to spend alone time with my kids! The Covid-19 pandemic as a whole has been a tragic, frightening event, but I will always cherish the summer I got to spend every day outside with my babies. I took them to the Meadowlark Botanical Gardens, one of our favorite “safe space” hangouts from last year, to walk the grounds and kick the slush around under a blue sky.
It was here on one of these particularly wet paths that I ran into two women, one of which commented that it was nice I brought them out on such a nice day. I laughed and said flippantly “I figured they didn’t need to sit in a classroom today.”
In response, this woman gestured around her and said with utter sincerity, “This IS a learning space.”
I grinned, even though I knew she couldn’t see it behind my mask. “I think so too.”
The lady laughed and turned back to her friend, ”And I’m a pediatrician, so you can quote me on that if anyone asks.”
It’s not just our career teachers that are seeing this. It’s not just the parents who know their “energetic kids” focus better when in motion. Doctors who specialize in children are urging for parents and educators alike to integrate consistent, long-form play into all aspects of children’s lives. Physically, they are stronger. Mentally, they are more able to pay attention and less likely to have sensory issues.
Social competencies and emotional resilience suffer greatly without consistent peer-interaction in a playful and imaginative setting as well! Children often work out a lot of their big questions and anxieties of the day by integrating it into safe-space imaginative play reenactments. Without being able to work these issues out themselves, children are unsure of their own abilities to problem solve, and those anxieties and dependencies grow.
Here is a fantastic article from The American Academy of Pediatrics all about The Power of Play if you would like to read more:
The Power of Play: A Pediatric Role in Enhancing Development in Young Children
It’s not that wrote learning, memorization, and standardized long-form curriculums don’t work, it’s that they miss the point of education entirely. They leave behind many and narrow the focus of the rest, curbing creativity, independent thought, and resilience to the necessary process of failure.
Think about any lesson you still remember 10, 20, 30 years later. Which ones stuck with you?
For me it’s almost always the games. My sixth grade teacher had us turn our entire classroom into a bunch of cardboard houses to mimic Hoovervilles. She dunked our feet in cold water and drew cards with battlefield injuries to give us a taste of war on the front. In third grade, multiplication songs and games stuck with me way longer than any flashcard work. Watching pumpkins rot, playing with baby chicks hatching from eggs and experiencing them grow was a poignant way to learn about the life cycles of living things. One of my favorites was pretending to be sound waves bouncing around a back alley. Even “Which President was it?” trivia tag helped facts that HAD to be memorized something fun and worth doing.
To reinvigorate education as a whole we have to reunite the JOY that should come with it, the fascination, the wonder. Let the kids run off in their excitement and experience a lesson with their whole bodies. Let them learn more than you thought, more widely than you thought. You’ll be surprised what you learn when you’re muddy and out of breath too.
Go Play! Keep Learning! Most of all, Have Fun!
Miss LJ
Teacher Tips: Ms. Janette talks Potty Training!
FAQ’s about potty training with Miss Janette:
What age should we start potty training?
Potty training typically starts at age 2, some children might show interest before or after age 2. The best way to go about it is to calmly and slowly introduce the potty and bathroom as a positive experience. You can also wait until the child shows interest in the toilet themselves before you dive into the process.
My child shows interest in the potty before age 2, should we start early?
You can slowly introduce the use of the toilet for your child, but it is best to go at their pace for the time being, no need to rush. Rushing or forcing the potty training process can actually hinder their interest in the toilet and delay further progress.
We also do not want to disrupt the child’s school routine by potty training too early, we need them to gradually learn how to be in tune with their body and understand why we sit on the toilet.
Lastly, having a child push too much or too hard can result in bladder issues. Their bodies are still growing! Potty training readiness also involves physical milestones.
My child is not showing any interest in the toilet and they’re almost 2 years old, how can we encourage them to begin potty training?
Keep in mind that this is normal. Some children might have other interests that are more appealing to them than using the potty. Most children do not want to run to the bathroom while they are in the middle of playing when they use a diaper or pull-up.
There are many ways we can encourage our children into using the toilet; books about using the toilet and even reading these books while on the toilet, songs or shows about using the toilet,
Creating a potty chart might spark interest with stickers or markers that they can add themselves
Letting them get used to the items in a bathroom like how to flush once, how much toilet paper to use or how to wash hands properly.
In the end, always keep the bathroom experience positive and reinforce proper bathroom etiquette.
What will we need to have for potty training?
It is best to have everything on hand in one place during the potty training process. Here is a list of items you would need for potty training;
Full set of extra clothes (I have experienced full on blow outs with children and it is best to have a whole outfit complete with socks and shoes; shirt, underwear, pants, socks, shoes)
Diapers (as a back-up)
Pull-ups (for children at school, pull-ups with thee velcro/detachable sides work best for the teachers and do not require removing pants or shoes)
Wipes (there will be accidents and it will get messy!)
Gloves (optional, teachers use gloves to protect themselves and the children from spreading germs that could cause infections)
Bottom Cream (A new regimen will add irritation to their sensitive areas. Creams like aquaphor or vaseline might soothe the irritation)
Potty: your potty needs to be easily accessible to your child! If you have a regular toilet make sure there is a stool they can use to climb on and put their feet against. A potty training lid makes this toilet even more accessible and helps ease anxieties. You could also get them a portable potty that you sit on the floor.
Potty training books, both for you and them.
Some type of reward system like stickers
What does the routine and schedule look like for potty training?
There are two routines for you to keep your child and yourself aware of during potty training; the school’s routine and your own personal routine. An important part of potty training is communication between home and school. Parents and teachers need to discuss all details of the potty training process to ensure a smooth transition.
At School:
Potty checks at arrival
Potty checks before and after every meal
Potty checks before and after nap time
Potty checks before and after outdoor play
Potty checks every 20-30 minutes
Careful observation between checks to see if the child might need the bathroom without realizing it.
Suggest the bathroom before transitions/new activities.
At Home:
Potty checks at after wake up and before bed time
Potty checks before and after meals
Potty checks before and after nap time
Potty checks before and after outdoor play
Potty checks before and after car rides
Potty checks every 20-30 minutes
Careful observation between checks to see if the child might need the bathroom without realizing it.
Suggest the bathroom before transitions/new activities.You can do weekends where the child goes without underwear or pull-ups! (it's a messy risk but can be very effective!)
How should I have them sit?
For girls: Sit them down further back on the toilet. A trick I teach for dresses: take the bottom of the dress, pull it all to the front, then twist and tuck under the hem above the belly. This helps keep the clothing from falling into the toilet and helps the children wipe/see what they are doing.
For boys: They should start by sitting down further back on the toilet with their legs spread out on the sides. This helps them see what they are doing and “tuck in” (pointer finger pointing penis down into toilet bowl).
**Potty words** We want a positive experience in the bathroom so we will use the proper terminology. We encourage everyone to say penis or vagina to help children develop a comfortable awareness of their bodies.
What can I expect during this process?
Expect many accidents and have patience throughout it all. Some children may learn quickly while others may take much longer. It is always best to have the child feel comfortable during the process and to never rush into it. Reward progress, avoid comparisons to other children.
What if my child regresses after seeming to get the hang of it?
Regression: Having more accidents than usual or not seeming interested in potty training.
Maybe you took a break. Maybe the child was sick for a few days. For whatever reason they’re showing signs of regression. The best thing to do is get yourselves back on your schedule and continue your training. Provide encouragement and resources to help. Remind them during transition and provide potty breaks every 20-30 minutes.
How do I know when my child is ready for underwear?
With potty training, you can introduce the underwear as reinforcement and encouragement. If your child is wearing pull-ups but has been keeping them dry and using the toilet more often, then you can put underwear over the pull-up and have them practice pulling that up and down along with the pull-up.
Once you both feel comfortable using the potty and going without the pull-ups, you can move onto the underwear (maybe pull-ups during nap and over night). This is where the extra clothes are very important to have on hand or at school! You can bring in multiple sets of clothing into school (just please label every article of clothing for the teachers!).
How long does it take to potty train a child?
With consistency from the teachers and the parents together, the potty training process usually takes 2-3 weeks. However, this really depends on the child as well as the persistence of the teachers and parents. Communicate between one another!
Best of luck to you all on this journey!
-Miss Janette